Metanoia

A voiceless voice stuck worrying of what has yet to come

A repetant delusion afraid of what might become

I sleep alone

I awake

alone.

Hours and Exits Pass, I See Them In My Rearview

"Regular Unleaded"

                is all I can say when I make my way to you. 

I know it has been a while, but I was steadfast on my journey.

I was asking for your love for so long, but now that you've finally given it to me I have become confused and disinterested.

My Complement, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love.

trust not in me

for now.

i must do some things that will not make me proud.

The Tunnel of Love is Under Repair

Roller Coasters make me sick, but sometimes you have to just have to ride them. So, begrudgingly hand in your ticket and take my advice. Enjoy the highs and don't overemphasize the lows. 

I'll get back to the bitterness and gloom. but right now its okay to be present and feel alright

every night i sleep. alone. naked. but alone. every morning I wake up late. alone. naked. and look in the mirror at myself. it's nothing visually exciting. behind me there is an empty room. a naked boy steals most of the view. this morning i awoke. alone. naked. happy. i looked in the mirror and said, david things are pretty ok.

I'll Start From Scratch Again, It's Better Than Starting From Itch

I drove you to your house where you said you sleep and parked the car. It didn't feel right, yet. You looked at me ardently searching your eyes for something that resembled the romance I found in your voice when you asked if I would walk you to the door. I stayed a step behind trying to figure out my place you'd find most satisfactory. You turned around and caught me staring at the pavement's cracks. I grabbed your hips, you leaned in and laughed when I missed your lips. I was hoping it would wake your father whom I imagined was sleeping by the door waiting for you to come home. This moment was too perfect for just the both of us and your porch light. But he didn't wake up. And I didn't care.

I was never the jealous type, but I'm hoping you are

I grip the wheel with both hands and try to drive through these tears that won't come. I always found it funny how every new movie you saw became either your new favorite or least favorite. I guess I should've seen this coming. It isn't that funny anymore for me but if I'm laughing it's at myself.

Nothing's absolutely definite till it's absolutely, definitely, definitely gone

I'm searching in my phone book for a number I don't have. You given me some insecurities now it's my turn to give you some of mine. You're a jet black beauty bound to break me down, but I rather chose my own fate with a casual disaster from a peroxide princess. I can still smell the bleach on her hair and I know you will smell it on me too.

Can This Be The B-Side To Your Book On Tape?

The times we had are documented in these undeveloped rolls of film that I can hide but not forget. Every pill tastes like your lipstick but corrodes my stomach lining instead of my heart. I could burn what I have left of you in an hour but I know your taste will last much longer than that. So the photo albums can stay empty like the space inside my chest.

I Need You Like A Hole In My Head, But I Know You'd Rather Aim For My Heart

I want to send you a postcard explaining how much better I am without you but I can't figure out how to sign it at the bottom.

Your A Behind the Scenes Stealer That Can Bury Me With Your Secrets

Your stilettos may as well be sparrows that lift you so high off the ground. So high. Too high for me to reach you. Higher than I could ever take you. I could never take you away from the sky. I could never take you where you need to be, where you belong.

Pluming My Will

To me, love was always a bug you could catch. I was the boy in the bubble until I met you. Now I pray for the protection of my plastic confines from your petulant tongue.

Does, Did, Don't Ever Again

I was easy and you were easy but both in our own ways.

Loving someone never hurt as bad as it did when I loved you

& you didn't love me...

No Attractions Exit

Things have been getting better and I can't tell if the pills have been working or if this is my own doing. The weather tries its best to keep me down but the rain just runs to the sewer drains and cannot dampen this sensation. I'm moving like the puddles but am no closer to you. I'll wipe the rain from my windshield as I drive past your exit to wipe away all the pain.

I've Become My Own Worst Enemy, That Way You Won't

I meant to say goodnight, but goodbye came out instead. It sounded much more finite and probably more correct.

I'll Treat Your Homeland Right

When we were speaking and I didn't hear from you I thought the worst--What if you died on me? All the time it was me who was dying and I doubt I filled your conscious the way you did mine. I'm still staying up late nights, but your voice isn't keeping me company. This paycheck will fill the void you left me with and even if it doesn't compare to having you I must learn that nothing will anyway. I'm not wondering how you're doing the next time I see the places we've been together but wondering if I'm the only one who can't take everything in and enjoy it anymore.

Determining the Denouement

And I've made plenty of mistakes unjustified by a litany of excuses. Even if I can't correct them, I can identify each one every time I commit them again. Taking the wrong way home although I know better is the falling action tonight. I collapse looking at the cracks in the pavement that lead me from your house and envy their inevitable repair. I'm not a concrete boy, but your heart cemented our fate and made the words that you wrote lies before they had a chance to dry.

I Want To Be That Last Boyfriend You Have Before You Finally Find the One You've Been Looking for and He is Just What Your Parents Wanted

I woke up wrapped in the telephone cord still on hold with you. I'm not hanging up but holding on to hope that you meant everything you never said. And if I don't awake next time I'll be hung by those words that I heard in my dreams.

As a child I never cried--Not once. Make of that what you will.

You were out with your friends. I was home without mine. I sent you a text but you didn't have the time. So I called my ex to wish her a happy birthday--two weeks belated.

Sent from my iPhone